If two (The First & Felix Red) EMO fucks jumped off a cliff, which one lands first?
Why the fuck would I care?
The fact of the matter is both of them jumped off the cliff last night at the same time holding hands. The Forsaken dry humped the talent for the past year with the EPW Tag Titles wearing women's mascara with no challenge what so ever. Last night Larry Tact and Jared Wells took The Forsaken to the fucking wood shed by the hand and beat that ass, and right about now they are comparing hair styles with females saying "OH I LOVE IT". Fuck that. I will nail each EMO asshole one by one to any tree I see. Two down, plenty more to go. Your looking at the new EPW World's Tag Team Champions.
Plunder Anthology did, but rape we did best.
Larry Tact & I will make the EPW TAG TITLES mean something much more than they ever did.
NOW!
One thing is for sure. You won't see us driving a shit box of a vehicle called the Cadillac Eldorado. And the entire point of its demise in 2002 was because all it was.........was a toaster with rims. Any dumb shit would buy it. Open up the hood and what did you see? A fucking lawn mower engine but OH MY GOD the RIMS WERE INCREDIBLE!! It's like anybody today buying a HONDA putting a kit on it. Put whatever you can on it, it's still a four cylinder joke. And that leads me up to the driver.
Brock Alyas.
Enjoy these few minutes of fame from DADDY and no this isn't the "N-F-DUBB."
This is my D-I-C-K-IN-YO-MOUFH. One thing in life you fucked up on is driving Miss Daisy and your son Tyler which I'm sure is not even yours. Trust me, I get papers in the mail all the time.
Now your hurting Jared Wells feelings here. I've done nothing to you. You call us ANTHOLOGY LEGENDS...... "BUTT BUDDIES", "PUNKS".......??
.........Really? That's it?
Your talking about the DANGLE BROTHERS. Another news flash to you all you XBOX playing, internet dweebs out there. The Dangle Brothers are Jared Wells and Cameron Cruise hanging out in the bar. By choice yes, but by name, thats what the girls say. When a band travels to a bar, plays the tunes, the respectful thing is to buy the band shots.
FUCK THAT.
The band buys shots for Cameron Cruise and myself. They say "HEY DANGLE BROTHERS........"
But Brock.....
The reality is that your child's mother is smoking on that cigarette thinking about DADDY and the DANGLE. And for you internet geeks out there, that would be me. She's thinking "OH LORD I'M GOING ON MAURY POVICH". The mere fact of you driving an Eldorado makes my penis soft...
and for little Jared Jr........
UGGGGGG........I MEAN Tyler.........helpless.....it's a terrible, terrible life.
Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat. But why would Cameron Cruise "RAT" on somebody who is a nobody?
Your "N-F-DUBB" won't allow you to look me in the eye. Your "N-F-DUBB" is a simple union allowing you to work eight hours and two breaks. When you apply for a REAL job.......call me...
Until then........Don't fuck with DADDY.
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